he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
