U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
