I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize