speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
