I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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