I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
