is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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