idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
