worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
