Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
