I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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