...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
