I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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