Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
