We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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