in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize