Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
