I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize