he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
