she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
