Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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