You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
