he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Success! We fucked roommates!
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