you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
