did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
