i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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