VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
