Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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