thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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