Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my sisters under your porch take her home
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
