I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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