She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
