you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
