Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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