oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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