Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The Olympian is in my bed
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
