Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
