im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
