Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
