I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
