I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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