He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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