At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
