Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
