It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
