One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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