Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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