just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
