They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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