I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
