And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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