if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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