She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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