I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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