yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
