My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
