Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Still dying that you shit outside
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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