the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize