I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
