He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
