There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
