She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
