Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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