Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
