We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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