ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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