They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
