the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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