Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
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