I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
