Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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