Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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