No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just blew my weed a kiss
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
