I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
